elegantslum:

breakingupwithyou:

Decisions, decisions.

Not at ‘schoolies’?

I considered it but I have no money and no car. Plus, knowing my luck I’d end up on the news scattered and my Gran would probably have a heart attack. I feel like I’m missing out though… did you go when you graduated?

Once again, I am at the conclusion that my tumblr is a bad omen (breaking up with you?!?!). I feel like no matter how lucky I get, or how beautiful my boyfriends seem at first, I’m doomed from the start. What’s been getting to me is that I finally thought I meant a decent guy, wait, I did meet a decent guy but it’s just turned to shit. After what was probably a week he tells me we should just be friends again so now I’m feeling totally stupid. I really liked him, or at least I thought I did. In truth though, I don’t think I knew what I wanted. I wanted someone. I guess it was a bit of a you’ll do situation. Nevertheless, feeling totally crushed, and the worst part is this wasn’t even my shortest relationship yet.

So now I’m feeling lost. I’ve just graduated and have no real direction. Am hating my job, my home, people around me. I don’t know when I’m moving, how I’m going to manage without a car or a licence, if I’m going to University or fucking it off for a while. I don’t know whether to keep trying with him or to just let myself slip back into the old, routine, smoking-pot-and-having-sex with boys I may like but have no chance in the world with. Decisions, decisions.